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Worth is measured by choice.



A friend will never be, they who praise and compliment me without knowing who I am.



It's easy to stand proud when your strength comes from a glimpse based validation.



Why question what sounds good?

is it actually personally acceptable to claim so much about your personality, soul, morals, your very essence of being...



and be the absolute antithesis behind closed doors?



Is that... stable? Is anything.... true?

Second day in a row of watching Strange Magic with my daughter in theater.



and she tells me this is her favorite song. hahaha. She only headbanged during this part. Nothing major. Right?



LMFAO

Dancing...

Singing...

Good music

Dancing lessons?

Like... outside with people?!?

Good music

DANCING!?

More good music.



Did I mention DANCING!?



Excuse me while I-- FUCK YES!!

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frozenVheart
13:46 Jan 31 2015

U forgot the most important thing.. U will never guess... It is DANCING... Lol

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Similar to a bottomless pit of disappointment in yourself and an unwavering sense of worthlessness may wash over you when a person you respect and hold in such high regard, displays an utter lack of the latter when it comes to your person.



Every moral not questioned, but attacked with disdain and mocked for its standing.



Every feeling waved off in response to not reflecting their emotions on any matter, and every gesture treated like a passing breeze at the most opportune time.



Various reasons, perhaps, are there for this. Neglect, carelessness, hatred; A general dislike of who you are as a person. What you may or may not have done.



You never know, and probably may not ever get to know.



But do you know... why you feel so strongly about this person? Why do you respect them so much? Why does the idea of ever insulting their intelligence just makes you shudder? Why does lying to them seem like such a horrid waste of valuable time? What about them, pulled that sense of Honoring, appreciation for the person that they are?



What would you do if you knew for certain what their reasons were?





A part of your soul may die with that experience. You start to feel hollow. Mourn that naive part in you that no longer lives.

You'll live. I guarantee you that.



Isn't that enough?

Just in time to add to the bullshit. It was only almost a year. I'm sure that'll make a ripple in an ocean of acts.

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Slain
04:28 Jan 19 2015

Or lack there of.

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Can you live loving being strung along?



and



Greatest of Rhyme.

The moment you start comparing me to your past is the moment I start to question it.

Hall om mig nu...

That was impressively refreshing.



Were I overly arrogant and egotistical, I'd say that I seek like-minded individuals and gravitate towards them at all times.



I however, am not, and do not.



I can't learn something new from those that have the same thoughts as me.



In finding that another expresses certain things, in a manner similar to what I've kept within me, it does in fact make me feel, less alone.



Validated, in a way, by a complete stranger.



That metaphorical smile and nod in my direction, differs greatly from the ridicule and mockery that I receive for being who I am.



Absolutely refreshing.



and all I want to ask is... what makes them believe in what they do, and why.



Not only to learn about them, but to teach myself how a different soul, can see the same things that I do.



knowledge.

well. I sure didn't mean to do that. LMFAO. Woops

Do you know what drowning feels like?

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TheArtistRose
00:30 Jan 13 2015

Anxiety?

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Slain
00:38 Jan 13 2015

Heh. Possibly.

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Yesterday...



She sat there, toiling away, so focused so determined. I watched as I sat behind her. She worked away on the coffee table as I shaped a piece of clay as she had asked of me. As we sat there, I put on soft music that she'd know from listening to it for so many years before. All having to do with her.



One of the songs finally got to me, and tears rode my cheek as I silently worked away, still watching her. She stopped and looked up at the source of the song and cried out "I love this song! And I LOVE butterfly kisses!" I chuckled and a tear sped down my hot skin. She turned around and looked at me, and I quickly tried to wipe it away and smiled at her. She stood up, and just read me. Looked right through me... she saw all of the pain i was trying to hide. I couldn't say a word. Her eyes just said to me, "I know you need me..." And her lips smiled as I heard that sweet familiar voice. "And now, I'm going to give you, a bunch of them!"



My heart leaped, I gasped for air and thanked god that she was so much faster at climbing my lap and embracing me tightly, than the cascade of tears that was struck from my eyes at that moment. My glasses instinctively removed as I dried my face and her angelic eye lashes touched my skin as she hugged tighter. She was oddly silent... and I was shaking. She felt it. Snuggled tighter... curled up and just lay there, on me. clinging to my neck... closing her eyes, as Butterfly Kisses was coming to an end.



That eternity only lasted about an hour, her holding and whispering "I love you, Dad. I love you so much and I miss you.", every time she fought sleep and her grip around me answered by getting just a bit stronger.



I could have died like this.



...



I wish I had.

Like the kid that wants to help the adult painting the walls with the brush from their little paint set.

The possibility of my being home was taken quite seriously.

I don't normally do trends but I'll bite.



‪#‎jesuischaplin‬



there.

You have no idea how the message in that makes me fucking shudder.



:: shakes head::



We are what we choose to be.



If you're at war with yourself due to that... you're on your own.



I know I've been.

...But you'll come back each time you leave...

Tea... I want tea.

I can't even count the mornings.



Because... I can't think of one that's counted.



Just who am I kidding?

I was right.



how much I dislike being right, is becoming a pastime.



Heh.

Time to go deal with near 12 hours of that fun... and come back to...

isn't this what I do best?



When I write to myself to pretend someone hears.



I'd never wish this on another.

COMMENTS

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GettoSuperStar
11:13 Jan 02 2015

Your a FUCKING IDIOT!



Look I made it bold so you could see it you dumb fuck!

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Slain
21:05 Jan 02 2015

You're*

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I admire the honesty. It's almost inspiring.